Autistic Love | The Complications and Barriers


Today in Love week, we are going to be exploring the complicated world autism and relationships. The world is huge and very complicated for a normal person to understand but when you have autism, it can be whole lot scarier than a normal person would see it being.

This in turn can put normal people of from dating people with disabilities because there think we are strange and different, when we are not.

This article will explore the world through autistic and normal people brain, while doing some role playing. For the purpose of this article, we will have Bob the autistic boy, Claire an Asperger’s girl and Candice and Brain the normal human beings.

The love Scale

Autistic Love Scale (1)

The love scale is not as scary as it might sound, it’s a way, I have come up with to make sense of the relationship and keep the relationship in order. So when bob starts to get know Claire, he is on stage one friendship and it’s not as scary for bob or Claire and they can start to get to know each other.

It’s when they want to take the relationship up to the next level it whole load more complicated, it’s meaning getting deeper inside Claire’s heart. Which is not easy thing to do with Autism.

I’m going explain the stages a bit more in-depth now.

Stage Meaning
Stage 1 | Friendship Friendships is where each other are great friends together
Stage 2 | Dating It’s dating time now, this where each other assesse there suitable together as a couple
Stage 3 | Getting to Know the Family This is an extra stage, It’s where each other asses the family and whether they like them or not.
Stage 4 | Early Relationship Now early dating and meeting family done, It’s time to entre a relationship while still dating
Stage 5 | Interment Relationship This is the stage where the couple sleep together and get interment with each other
Stage 6 | Engagement Congratulations! On making it to this stage, It’s where you purpose and getting ready to marry
Stage 7 | Together all the time Stage 7 is where you spend around 90% of your time together 24/7
Stage 8 | Moving out or in It’s time to move out of the family home into your own pad.
Stage 9 | Marriage Congratulations! Again on getting married
Stage 10 | Starting a Family It’s time to start creating your next generation

Stages 8,9 & 10 are all interchangeable depending on the person dating preferences.

The Brain

It’s every so wonderful, to see how everyone’s brain is programmed differently and some are completely wired wrong and the men and women with disabilities and long term illnesses.

Let’s look at how differently the brains are, we have the brain of the normal couple Candice and Brain and Autistic Couple Bob and Claire.

Autistic Love Brains

As you can see in Bob and Claire’s brain there a lot more activity going on, than in Candice and Brain’s brain.

This is perfectly normal and it’s makes us more intelligent than some of the sciences and members of parliament.


Autistic Love

Dating is fun and exciting time for people entering a relationship but can be nerve wrecking time. The picture above shows how the autistic brain works during the dating processes.

As you can see there a lot going on in brain and that’s ok.

I would like you to put yourself in Claire and Bob shoes in the dating scenario to see how what’s it’s like for the couple.

First Date Scenario

The date is going to be happening at noisy venue and on a Friday evening. The venue going to be Jolly Fisher Bar terrace, looking over the Manchester Ship Canal.

Claire has now arrived at the Jolly Fisher to meet Bob who is already at the venue. They shake hands and introduce them in a nervous tone.

Claire: How are you, Bob  

Bob: um, um I’m (Pause) Fine

Claire: That’s good

Silence for around 2 minutes

Bob: Claire, Would you like a drink

Claire: That would be nice thank you

Bob: What would like?

Claire: Brown coloured water in glass!

Bob: Oh coke?

Claire: Yes, you are right

Bob: Here’s you coke.

Claire: Pause thank you

Bob: uh ah um What’s your hobby?


Bob: Do you like animals

Claire: Umm, Yes I do

Now try to carry on a conversation in the same way and Let autism know how it went over on Autism Life Facebook page.

You can see how hard it’s for Claire and Bob to maintain a conversation and has given your insight what it’s like to be stuck for words.

Thank you for reading are last post in love week and I hoped you fully loved this post and fully understand the complex nature of dating and relationship with autism.

Mike Cunniffe

(C) Autism Life 2016

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